Winter–and ALL that comes with it

I realize the holidays have become synonymous with winter. Someone says “turkey,” people think of Thanksgiving dinner, even if they’re presently eating a snowcone in the middle of July. Another says “egg nog,” the person’s eyes light up with thoughts of white Christmases.

I am not bitter toward the holiday season. I’m really not. It’s a beautiful time of year. The crispness of the air. Steaming hot chocolate. Everyone claiming to be at one with all mankind. It’s sweet really.

The forthcoming comments do not spring from my abstinence from the holidays.

But, are the 30,000 snow globes littered across a front lawn really necessary?

We get it. You like Christmas. Maybe you even live for it just a little bit . . .

A few holiday lights say the same thing.

Still, the recent explosion of holiday decorations consisting of moving Santas, reindeer, baby Jesus’, penguins (?) and, again, the snowy snow globe has truly left no remotely-winter item untouched.

And yet, home owners are not content with one or two of these decorations. No, they are determined to completely inundate every centimeter of grass seen with the naked eye.

In addition, I have to ask, with the many brilliant men walking this earth, creating scientific equations to explain the body’s DNA and searching for an AIDS cure, could no one unearth a better solution for storing the inflatable penguins than having them disintegrate into a ball of pathetic-ness at three in the morning? This way, children can wake up, get ready for school, and, in the meantime, cry about the dead penguin next door–if they aren’t already crying out of fear of the creepy, electronically-rotating Santa that keeps staring at them from across the street.