malleable trick-or-treaters

November 1, 2010

It just isn’t Halloween without a few smashed pumpkins in the street.

Two grown adults walked into a Starbucks days before Halloween dressed as a mummy and a grim reaper. Children lined the streets of Brookside and downtown Tulsa on Saturday as ballerinas and devils in order to hear “Awwww how sweet” and to add to their cavities. Maybe Tulsa should host more events featuring free candy and decorated children. That should give a boost to our downtown.

After all, Halloween is just about make believe and fun.

So says the witch hanging from a rope next door and the gravestones and skeletons haunting the yards one street over. It’s natural to feel fearful and repulsed by these images. Observe any child going through their first Halloween. It’s the much wiser, celebrating adults that say it’s normal. Torture, hauntings, murder, glorification of death. And I’m weird if I don’t like these things?

Remind me again, why do we smash pumpkins and vandalize on this ancient holiday? Is it our way of rebelling against societal norms in a “safe,” non-illegal way? Do children find it thrilling? Is it their first act of vandalism on their way to a life of law obstruction?

Yes, Halloween obviously is a very harmless day of celebration. Don’t worry about the meaning behind the day or the images glorified by celebrities, religion, the average Joe down the street.

There’s nothing creepy about children and adults garnishing knives, dripping blood–er, I mean, ketchup, wearing demon masks, pretending to be zombies.

On any other day of the year, we would hear, “Hide the children!,” but on this special day they say, “Bring on the impressionable kiddos.”

I realize the holidays have become synonymous with winter. Someone says “turkey,” people think of Thanksgiving dinner, even if they’re presently eating a snowcone in the middle of July. Another says “egg nog,” the person’s eyes light up with thoughts of white Christmases.

I am not bitter toward the holiday season. I’m really not. It’s a beautiful time of year. The crispness of the air. Steaming hot chocolate. Everyone claiming to be at one with all mankind. It’s sweet really.

The forthcoming comments do not spring from my abstinence from the holidays.

But, are the 30,000 snow globes littered across a front lawn really necessary?

We get it. You like Christmas. Maybe you even live for it just a little bit . . .

A few holiday lights say the same thing.

Still, the recent explosion of holiday decorations consisting of moving Santas, reindeer, baby Jesus’, penguins (?) and, again, the snowy snow globe has truly left no remotely-winter item untouched.

And yet, home owners are not content with one or two of these decorations. No, they are determined to completely inundate every centimeter of grass seen with the naked eye.

In addition, I have to ask, with the many brilliant men walking this earth, creating scientific equations to explain the body’s DNA and searching for an AIDS cure, could no one unearth a better solution for storing the inflatable penguins than having them disintegrate into a ball of pathetic-ness at three in the morning? This way, children can wake up, get ready for school, and, in the meantime, cry about the dead penguin next door–if they aren’t already crying out of fear of the creepy, electronically-rotating Santa that keeps staring at them from across the street.