M-aliens

December 27, 2009

Yes, girls can seem emotional and, oftentimes, clingy.

We don’t mean to be.

We form attachments way too quickly. We hang on to any last shred of hope that he will call. We make outrageous excuses: He meant to call but his phone fell in a mud puddle. He had to suddenly leave the country. His dog needed emergency surgery, and he’s been too distracted to call.

If boys could simply be reminded that communication is a beautiful thing.

With that ingredient, most of the world’s problems could have been avoided.

If the Japanese had communicated their anger toward America and we, our disinterest in entering World War II, the tragedy of Pearl Harbor could have been entirely bypassed.

If the financial giants of Wall Street had communicated their economic fears earlier, the world could have banded together and solved it without our baby-boomers losing their life savings.

And if Tiger had come out with his secrets at the beginning of his public relations nightmare, his career could have been salvaged and his public image unscathed. Lest we all forget Britney Spears? If she can come back from Crazytown, anything’s possible.

But instead of reading the many tutorials and just spending time with women, men are more content whining and complaining about our inability to coexist. That we will never be understood. When in actuality, it’s far from rocket science.

Kind of like the elementary steps in math: 2+2=4.

For the majority of females, the answer to our equation is love.

We need to feel needed. Bring us flowers on our anniversary. Say, “I love you.”

Don’t spend two weeks flattering, texting and kissing us, and then disappear. I don’t think that’s even human.

I don’t care what your excuse is: “It’s easier this way,” “I’m not strong enough to tell her,” “I can’t handle confrontation.” Or my personal favorite, “What did I do to make her so attached? Why does she think I like her?”

Really? Because you just spent two whole weeks telling me you can’t live without me.

But then again, as hard as it feels in that moment, I remind myself–and my poor suffering girlfriends–that I don’t want a whack job for my boyfriend. I’ll take beautiful, serene, alone time any day.

Just give me my dog and a book. They’ll never let me down.

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