no limit lots

May 15, 2010

How long do you think it will be before there are speed limit signs in parking lots?

Ironically, the place where we need to be most careful, drive our absolute slowest and be on highest alert is the place where the majority of people put pedal to the metal, using those careless moments on private property to catch up on correspondence, change their song selection, take a swig of Diet Coke.

Frankly, parking lots do not allow for this kind of freedom. Now, you take me to an empty parking lot in front of a deserted department store, and I might make an allowance. But besides that, parking lots are not a free for all.

I think it’s best to view it like a video game. Shopping carts coming at you from all angles. People popping out from between cars. High-speed vehicles taking corners like horses at the Kentucky Derby.

I once watched an old man careen through the Whole Foods parking lot, diagonally cross two rows of parking spots and almost side swipe a neatly-parked vehicle.

Don’t mind him. He’s late for his Golden Girls marathon.

Because we all know, Betty White is sure worth maiming someone for life. I mean, she was on Saturday Night Live.

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One Response to “no limit lots”

  1. rubyred44 said

    hahaha there are almost no words. this is too awesome. i’m so glad i have an intelligent friend who can write seriously and humurously at the same time. golden girls…haha

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