the triumph of borders

March 25, 2010

I can’t say I blame the guy who flew his plane into the IRS building. You don’t have to live long to realize that government will make you crazy.

If you let it.

And right now, I’m letting it.

I am currently fighting similar destructive sentiments regarding the Bolivian government.

Have you ever tried applying for a Visa? You might as well try to pass a health care bill. Obama’s takin a cake walk compared to the hoops I’m jumpin.

Traveling used to be an adventure. An enviable event the family would anticipate months leading up to its arrival.

Nowadays, if you want to fly cheap, you pack two outfits and a toothbrush. No checked bag for you. And forget shoelaces on those tennis shoes. Velcro all the way for quickness and agility. Perfect for maneuvering through slow-moving security lines.

Nowadays, international travel requires more than a backpack and cash. It requires documents and confidential personal records readily accessible for intense scrutiny at any moment. It requires working knowledge of the every-changing governmental entry requirements into this country or that one.

You want to travel the world? Sure, no problem. We’ll just need a copy of your birth certificate, add to that a swab of saliva, fingerprints, a lock of hair, proof of citizenship, record of every residency you’ve ever held, your dog’s paw print, $1000 cash only, high school GPA, a fingernail clipping, your credit score, favorite perfume fragrance. And lastly, your hereditary line starting with Adam.

Once you have these, you may enter our country.
Thank you. Come again.

I think this is the proper place to take a moment and honor all of those special people responsible for the incredibly high level of security precautions in our world today: the terrorists and various hate groups who can’t see beyond their own selfish desire to be placed above everyone else. In effect, creating the over-protective, jump-through-hoops, security-ridden, paranoid world that we see today.

And what a delight it is to live here.

Thank you. It wouldn’t be the same without you.


One Response to “the triumph of borders”

  1. rach said

    you know i’m completely w/you on this one!! it’s like as if all these rules or requirements aren’t crazy enough they expect you to know them all automatically! here’s my request: if you’re going to have all these rules, just give me a hanedout booklet of them and i will think they are annoying, yes, but will also gladly comply. i will comply w/rules i know about. oh and may i suggest flipflops/flats instead of a shoe w/any kind of barrier. here’s a little tip: i carry a small pair of socks w/me in my purse for the plane in case my feet get cold. lol 😛

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