Singing can cause injury

December 24, 2009

Famous people have it rough.

Constant criticism of every fashion choice, every bad decision, every failure. No private life. Slave to the changing winds of popular opinion, carrying them here and there.

The minute they take one wrong step, the whole world turns to watch.

And yet, no one shows them much sympathy.

In a court of law, if individuals of influence and prominence sue based on privacy infringement, most often, they lose. Why? Because when they signed up for the fame gig, they agreed to the terms. Which includes signing away their privacy.

Famous people may deal with a substantial amount of unfairness being rich and privileged, but they get a lot of sweet deals too.

So for that, I am not ashamed to jump on the bashing bandwagon:

Most of these people have egos.

Celebrities don’t get where they are without at least a slight overly-modest belief in their greatness.

And once fame hits, the growing cannot be contained. No human ego can withstand the excessive amount of petting, complimenting and showering of awards without growing to the extraordinary size that most singers specifically, such as Celine Dion and Mariah Carey, find themselves.

These individuals surround themselves with adoration.

They spend every moment with assistants, stylists and publicists whose sole job is to keep them happy. The last thing they want to do is tell their client that their performance was less than blow-your-mind fantastic. That their hands need to stay glued to the microphone instead of flailing in the air a little more often. That every time they contort their face during a high note, they look as if their lunch is returning at a highly inopportune time.

Fact: some singers are not performers.

Some are successful live. Some make a good effort. Others cause their viewers pain.

It’s not that they can’t sing; it’s that when I watch them sing, I feel impelled to shut my eyes. Quickly.

I saw Carrie Underwood perform on Ellen today.

I had to change the channel.

I can understand moving like that in order to distract from her singing, but she’s a good singer. No twitching arms and disturbing facial expressions necessary.

Beyonce was on Oprah a while back.

How any self-respecting woman can get on stage and shake like that and still smile into the camera is beyond me.

Tyra’s always telling her proteges to model in a mirror; learn how to hold their head; find what expressions and angles look best with their facial features.

Tyra’s crazy–sure–but she knows her stuff. Carrie and her fellow gargoyles would do well to take note.

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One Response to “Singing can cause injury”

  1. rubyred44 said

    couldn’t agree more. before i mostly just disagreed with the movie scene on a moral basis. now it’s on a moral basis as well as an intelligence basis. the only thing i like about every movie being dumber than a bag of rocks and taking advice from kevin federline on any subject is that it has made my slight inclination to see these movies completely disappear.

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