my sin

December 16, 2009

his gaze fixed steadily on mine
his trust in me
swimming in his yellow-brown eyes

my sweaty palms and shaking fingers
mirror the ache growing inside me
not now, just one more day
my mind racing vainly for a solution that
i could not
would not
find

i never ever thought i would do this
i stammered
his brow began to furrow as i grasped for words
any words to somehow
soften the blow
doubt: something i’ve never seen in his face before
appeared like accumulating raindrops

i swore i wouldn’t cry until i got it all out
no use
the tears came quicker than my words

but he didn’t need to hear any more
he knew
and what i saw on his face

i couldn’t turn away

i expected anger
instead i saw sadness
disbelief
surprise
turning to hurt

my apologies couldn’t erase
the pain
apologies will never erase
my sin

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2 Responses to “my sin”

  1. rubyred44 said

    wow em, this is great. really. did you write this recently or awhile ago and are just now posting it?

  2. writegrl said

    Thanks! It’s from a few years ago.

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